And so my mac went and died

I am feeling something awful now. So my mac just went and died, and it refuses to switch on now, and I have gigs and gigs of my life in it, and it had to die just as I was trying to copy stuff onto my external hard disk, and I’m now feeling extremely lost and lonesome and empty and I know it’s awfully stupid to be so attached to a spinning lump of metal, but that’s the way it is, and I need my life back.

Argh.

On popular charity

Today my mum told me to pick out some nice clothes and stuff that I do not particularly want so she can bring them to this collection point in town which will deliver the donations to the earthquake victims in China.

I asked, “Why don’t we send them to Africa instead?”

Strangely, nobody knows how to get anything to Africa because that’s old news. Sure, tons of people are dying everyday from famine and diseases that afflict entire populations of people who are too poor to afford any form of hygiene. But hey, that has been happening forever now and has lost its novelty. Never mind that Somalia has just been declared a state of humanitarian emergency, the new common charity game is now the big earthquake in China.

I’m not saying it’s not sad – I think it’s tragic, and personally I cringe each time I catch a glimpse of the news on TV. I was on the verge of tears when I saw my colleague frantically trying to reach her family in Sichuan on the afternoon of the earthquake. In fact, I do consider myself pretty affected by the stories I have heard and read even though I do consciously try to block out the all the irrational emotions I have for the situation.

What I AM saying is, charity for the affluent (and Singaporeans are generally affluent compared to most of the world) has become more of a little game of feeling good about yourself. Most of these disasters are nothing more than a little story in a little black box in your living room. They evoke for a brief period of time a “Oh, the poor things” sentiments, and people go “Oh, let’s do something for them, shan’t we?” and they donate their old clothes and stuff that certainly are not part of the immediate needs of hunger and disease stricken disaster victims, and then they go “Awww, how nice we are, let’s go get our friends to donate their unwanted items too~ *heart*”

Remember the Tsunami that struck the coasts of many Asian cities in December 2004? Nobody remembers it anymore. In fact nobody has remembered it for a good 3 years now. For about 1-2 months, there were huge donation drives. People were donating their junk (like wedding dresses and broken toys) and organsing various fund raising activities. And then it was over, for the first world countries, at least. The reparation work goes on for months, years after the incident, but first worlders don’t give a shite.

It’s going to be the same with the earthquake. Next month, it isn’t going to be on the news anymore. The donation drives will be over, there’s be billions of dollars in donations from various parts of the world hovering about various parts of China, passing through many hands, a large fraction of which will be siphoned out by unscrupulous random persons. At the same time, there’ll be piles of old unwanted clothes and toys from first world countries stuck in many large boxes and taking up space while the victims’ basic needs of food and hygiene are still being met.

Meanwhile, the children and adults of Africa will continue to die of hunger daily because droughts keep killing their crops and livestock.

I think about these occasionally, but most times they’re just very fuzzy remote images in my sub consciousness. They will perhaps touch me enough to want to blog an entry about it, but it’s nothing a good night’s sleep and plenty of work and personal emotional trauma cannot cure.

*yawn* Back to my first world comfy life. Tata.

Another one on the Saudi Women

I have a morbid fascination for women of the middle east, even if they aren’t the most important stories right now, given the situation in Sichuan and Burma. The NY Times and the BBC used to supply plenty of incredible stories about them.

Stories of Pakistani women being locked up in a windowless room and served only a miserable meal of leftovers a day during their period just because they’re ‘dirty’, stories of women who were gang raped by their male relatives and then stoned to death for daring to report it, stories of women who were horribly beaten and mistreated by their husbands – I’ve probably read them all.

I don’t know what it is that keeps me reading – maybe because I know its all non-fiction beyond my wildest imagination. Or maybe deep down inside a small evil part of me is gloating at their plight?

Hmm. What amazes me is that, despite this stark contrast between their culture and that of most other parts of the world, the women actually do NOT feel the oppression simply because they’re not conditioned to understand or accept any outside cultures.

*EDIT* It’s very rare that I come across an article that actual reflects Saudi men in a positive light with regards to how they treat their women, but hey, here it is.

http://delhi4cats.wordpress.com/2008/05/20/saudi-marriages-what-are-the-rights-of-the-woman/

Will not direct link it for privacy.

*END EDIT*

On Running

I attempted to go running at Bedok Reservoir, but failed to complete it. I believe I walked the last 1km back to the finish point.

Discipline discipline discipline.

Mongolia trip: Phase 1

The trip is booked and the deposit is paid.

Since we booked late, we’re gonna have to take the midnight flight on a Friday, and join the rest of the group on Saturday morning/afternoon.

But still.. we are VERY EXCITED. \(^_^)/

Up, up, and away!

These are the first two creatures I met when I first approached the Singapore Flyer. Aren’t they just so kawaii? They’re not affiliated to the Flyer, though.

So I went jogging

So I went jogging. During peak hour. Along one of the busiest and most polluted roads in Singapore between 5-7 pm on a weekday.

I gave up after 1.5 rounds (that was maybe 2 km) and trailed away into the relative cleaner and fresher HDB sanctuary while WF and WL went ahead to complete the usual 3 rounds.

All I could think of while running, were carbon monoxide molecules trying to form permanent non reversible complex bonds with my oxygen. Argh.

The only one

The most beautiful, sexy and attractive woman I know has moved into new phase of a life, leading our paths to diverge, and now I’m feeling miserably depressed.

There are few women I have met in this life who impress me, and only one who melted me into a meek puddle of nerves. She exudes extreme calmness and grace in her mannerisms, and her smile drives men wild. I’ve witnessed her drop donut crumbs onto her lap once, and I’ve never known anyone who can brush away crumbs and still look incredibly sexy. Her voice is soothing and alluring but certainly not bitchy. Her English accent is to die for, as is her Japanese. She is also incredibly intelligent (think Ivy league). She has impeccable dress sense, and I’m in love with her shoes.

She is one stunning lady, and everything I (and you too, admit it) ever want to be.

She’s on her way out of my life now, and I’m plunging into an abyss of hopelessness.

On having nothing to lose

“Wanna see something ridiculous?”
“You mean you?”
“No, I mean this.”

And he brought me to this little stairway where a homeless man was sleeping on this railing overlooking the stairs. If he so much as moved an inch during an unfortunate nightmare, he’s so gonna die, or at least lose a lot of his life.

“Why do you suppose he does that?”
“Well, he has nothing to lose.”

“…. that was so mean.”

I wasn’t being mean, I was just being brutally honest.

You know how it is when you’re desolate, desperate and helpless but have no guts to kill yourself? There are worse ways to destroy your life other than actually ending it.

You thought I was mean because you didn’t understand. But I do.